So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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