No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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