Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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