Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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