Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
