I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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