toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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