We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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