you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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