A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize