we have officially lost it.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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