giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize