your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
