Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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