he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
