Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.