sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
