carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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