I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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