vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
