I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dear god my vagina.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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