I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
