you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
