God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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