Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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