Quick, to the slutcave!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
