she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
