Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
