captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Drunk is not a location!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
