dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
