What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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