That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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