Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
