if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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