So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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