i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
