They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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