Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
