I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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