Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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