Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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