I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
