Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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