it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
