drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
