So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
