i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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