So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
