i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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