If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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