It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
