I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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