woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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