Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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