seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
