like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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