i barfeds in our rink
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
