2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
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would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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