You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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