I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
