i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
